Ok, following along with other bloggers. This is out of my comfort zone but I am trying to be more open on here, so here goes.
What I know as truths:
1. I am a 49 year old female.
2. I have a grown son and daughter, a granddaughter, and 1/3 of a grandsprout.
3. By virtue of patience, I am a better grandma than I was a mother.
4. I am twice divorced.
5. I am in a long term committed relationship with a wonderful man.
6. I have 2 college degrees & should be working on a Masters but.....
7. I work as a registered nurse and love being a nurse.
8. Both of my grown children are still in college. (groan)
9. My granddaughter is the fuel for my heart and soul.
10. I just sold my SUV and now I want another one because I love the size, height, and safety of a SUV.
11. I cut back to 3/4 time last year to spend more time with my granddaughter and I LOVE IT!!!!!!
12. The S.O. and I are considering buying a duplex and selling our split level.
13. I am not religious, but more spiritual.
14. I question almost everything and the answers have to be "logical" to me. Very little "blind" faith here.
15. I wish I lived at the ocean.
16. I am a loner by nature, have few friends, and hate entertaining.
17. I find humor in nearly everything.
18. I need/want/must loose weight NOW!!!
19. I am one of five children from a very strict home.
20. I lost my father many years ago but my mom is doing well for 80.
21. I was a competitive swimmer while growing up- as were my children too.
22. I am a Scorpio, but I don't buy into the astrology stuff. Not logical.
23. This is enough for me

On my way to work, coffee in hand, I listen to one of the more mellow local radio stations. This morning they had a get-yourself-going expert. Her topic was a discussion and a suggestion of a way to help make your new year a more productive year. I found her suggestion both amusing and insightful. She suggests that instead of making a new year resolution that you make an "INTENTION' in it's place. Each day "practice" behaviors that lead to your "intention". For instance, if you are "intending" to lose weight then when you get up tell yourself that you will practice behaviors to help with your "intention" today. Then at breakfast, have skimmed milk in your low fat high fiber cereal. You just practiced a behavior that will help you in your "intention"! Her theory is that practice makes perfect. This is the insightful part for me because it is so true.

But what I found amusing is her theory that since you have an "INTENTION" and not a goal, you can't possibly fail!!! Good Heavens to Murgatroyd people!. What in the world? What??? It is good to set goals, it is good to achieve goals, it is EVEN good to fail occasionally - because that is exactly what gives us insight into what we do to achieve our goals and also what we do to allow ourselves to fail. (Granted, there are times when achievement and failure are out of our control, but for the most part, we are the captains of our own ships!) There is no real thrill in victory if the feeling of defeat has never been a companion.

It is a pet-peeve of mine to never allow a child to actually fail or loose, to always rescue them and to never let them "appreciate" what it feels like to fall short of their goal and to take full responsibility for their own actions and decisions that led to that failure. Never allowing a "failure" leads them into a false sense of security that the rest of the world has no interested in upholding for them. It teaches them that no matter what they do, no matter how little effort they expend, that they will be rewarded anyway.

The best teacher in life is the teacher that gives/teaches the student the information needed to makes a decision/goal; allows them to make that decision/goal; makes them responsible for the outcome, good or bad; then discusses why they were able to achieve or fail in that decision/goal. And given that guidance and armed with that knowledge encourages them to get out there and try again! JMHO

I am probably going to be blasted for this and I am not very eloquent in my writings, but I hope you get my drift.

Putting my thoughts out on the www makes me feel pretty darn vulnerable. I am so new at this blogging business though. I VERY carefully choose what I can comfortably share. I wonder why I am so "closed up" and afraid to let others know what I am thinking and feeling.
I so enjoy reading all of your thoughts and marvel at your ability to bare your thoughts to the world.

I have decided that I do NOTHING more than I have ever done nothing in my life. I am stalled, stagnant, a deer in headlights, and I loathe it.

When my kids were young life was so busy. Their schooling, swim meets, soccer games, football games, aerobic classes, my college degree to finish, a house/car/yard to maintain, family get-togethers, working, dance classes, library trips, transportation to their friends, medical/dental appts.. on and on. So busy, so happy! no time to do NOTHING.

I know, I know. Get busy then. Go back to get that Masters degree ( lots of $$$$$$), take a community class, go out with friends more, the fridge needs a good cleaning , on and on. I suppose I could be busy doing those really productive things. But I really want to see my granddaughter today and that will take up my entire afternoon and I won't get anything done but being with her sure is good for my soul and hers too!!!! This evening I could iron the pseudohubbies shirts for the week, make him feel all loved and taken care of. I could start a book that a friend gave to me.

I could do lots and lots of things. So now I am hearing another voice. I lack MOTIVATION!!!
How do I motivate myself to get busy so the nagging feeling of stagnation will exit? Any suggestions? Help!

My heart is a bit sore right now... I just dropped my son off at the airport. He is going back to his life of work, classes, and whatever else he does. It is wonderful to have him home for a bit, to "mother" him, do his laundry, buy his favorite food, hand him some cash (just because I can), get his thoughts on current events, hear his laughter, watch him play with is 3 year old niece, and be able say "good night I love you" before retiring for the evening. I miss him when he is away but I am happy that he is doing what he wants to do, living where he wants to live, and that he is healthy and secure.

Now, that it's back to the ole routine I think about getting ready to file taxes , going back to work, paying bills, etc. But on the UPSIDE!!!!! babysitting for my granddaughter (hooray, yippee, yahooo), planning outings with her, planning a spring get-away , quarterly bonus due in soon, and lots of other good things to look forward to.

I am new here and I have been reading some posts. There seem to be many people out there that are just plain down and out. Many write about loneliness, the pain, the hopelessness of life. That is so sad. We need to start a post with a "A great (or cool, or funny, or weird) thing happened today" theme so that we can read a post that is more uplifting than what I am finding here so far. I will start it. It will be called: It's all good!!